Are you using your culture or being used by it?

Posted on by Frank

How can we use our culture to grow as immigrants instead of being penalized by it?

Appreciating and leveraging what we bring with us in our cultural luggage can only happen if we don’t attach our “being” to it.

I will give the following example in general terms, so that when reading it, you can personalize it and make it yours.

When I say, “I am Italian,” “I am Chinese,” “I am Indian,” etc., I should feel this simply as a life situation that I share with several other million human beings. We are all participants in a beautiful and rich culture inherited from the past, in which many artists, inventors, and visionaries were born, and my heart should fill with pride and a sense of responsibility for being part of it. If I feel like I belong to this culture without making that belonging a part of who I am, then I own a powerful tool that will master my own immigration experience. Yes, if this is what I do, I am using my culture and not being used by it! Suddenly, just writing this sentence, I feel the freedom that comes with it!

It´s true: if we are able to detach our culture from our identity, we will not play the stereotyped part, and so we will be free to express only what we like from our culture and disregard what does not serve us, leaving room for new ideas, new beliefs, to live the life we want to live!

I remember my first job as a carpenter in Canada, at a window factory, where we manufactured high-quality wood/aluminum windows; it was in the wealthy town of Oakville, Ontario.

There were slightly under 100 people working there, and I would say that, along with tiny representations of several countries from Europe and South America, there were three major groups representing people who had been born as Canadians, Portuguese, and Croatians; in the entire factory, there were only four Italians, and two were management.

Looking back now, I see things that I could not see during the three years I worked there. I was in that initial confused phase; at the time, I just felt this urgency to find a way out, it was impossible to feel happy there, everyone was stuck! Every single comment, every act of jealousy, every frustration from almost all of the workers was somehow directly linked to, and fueled by, cultural differences.

That place was where so many talented people, beautiful human beings, who had immigrated with big dreams and good intentions, ended up killing and burying their potential… all because they were abused victims of their culture! And most of the time, these cultural barriers are the reason of negative feelings toward each other were hidden by fake compliments and by fake multiculturalist preaching.

Because everyone was carrying an imaginary flag tattooed on their forehead, everyone was judging each others´ cultures and being judged according to their own culture, but because of the identification, the individuals themselves were being hurt! You would hear remarks that would range from “look at that guy… classic Asian, always works overtime and makes us all look lazy!” to “this guy works at a slow South American pace… back home, he would be fired!” And when similar comments were shared directly…. anger, frustration, sadness and inner pain would proliferate, causing separation and isolation!

I went from an entry-level position to be the most highly paid employee within six months because I was able to fill the position outside the assembly line, building customized windows of any shape! More than 10 years working with my father as a fine carpenter and woodworker really came in handy…

This fast “career advancement” caused a major rebellion! Colleagues who had worked there for 25 years were complaining that the position had not been offered to them, and I started to be labeled as a classic Italian who had special connections with the management. The least upset of my co-workers would “joke” around, smiling and saying: “you Mafia, Frank, you Mafia…!”

The truth was that nobody had the woodworking skills nor the desire to fill the position; none of them was a fine carpenter, they had been working in the same position and taking the same steps every day for years, and they knew they could not do it. Their behavior came from personal frustration and dissatisfaction, and that small negative side of my culture (the Mafia) was for them easier to blame than admitting their own technical deficiencies.

 

Let’s face it! We all are products of our cultures: the problem is that most of us are so into the idea that our culture is a significant part of who we are and not just something we belong to that we can’t even see how much the Act of Immigrating can do for us in terms of self-development.

 

When I detached my culture from my being, I stopped being the victim of it and began to use my Italian heritage to my advantage; and because I had made this change in how I saw myself, I automatically started to see other people the same way. I was able to recognize immigrants who were identifying themselves with their culture, and instead of reacting to their insane behavior with something even more insane, I responded with the intention to help and with the kindness required to guide someone that has lost his way.

 

This shift became a major success factor: when selling for my own business, after leaving the factory, I was now able to understand where my Indian customers were coming from when they asked for crazy discounts; or why some Asians would be disappointed if I refused to offer discounts in exchange for cash payments; or why other Italian customers who expected thousands of dollars in discounts simply for being from the same culture as me. Instead of walking away offended and full of judgment, angry and without making a sale, I now tell them exactly what I am writing here; I explain it to them and the magic just happens! I either sell and help them shift their own viewpoint, or, worst-case scenario, I leave them thinking…. really thinking.

 

Stay tuned,

 

Frank.

 

435 thoughts on “Are you using your culture or being used by it?”

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  178. I additionally believe that mesothelioma cancer is a rare form of cancers that is generally found in individuals previously subjected to asbestos. Cancerous tissues form in the mesothelium, which is a protecting lining which covers most of the body’s body organs. These cells typically form inside lining of your lungs, stomach, or the sac which actually encircles one’s heart. Thanks for revealing your ideas.

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  199. I should say also believe that mesothelioma cancer is a extraordinary form of most cancers that is normally found in those previously subjected to asbestos. Cancerous tissue form inside the mesothelium, which is a protecting lining that covers the majority of the body’s organs. These cells generally form while in the lining with the lungs, belly, or the sac which actually encircles the heart. Thanks for sharing your ideas.

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  269. The line about being penalized by your own culture stuck with me. I spent half of last week on a visa renewal form, and every question about my “purpose” meant squeezing a whole life into three boxes. My mother’s voice in my head wasn’t much help at that moment.

    The other pile was paper. Passport photo, ID, a bank statement — all shot on my phone at the kitchen table, all of it needing to leave the house as one tidy PDF. I used lensup.ai for that: photo to a printable PDF, both sides of my ID on a single sheet. The files never left my laptop, processing happened right in the browser tab, which mattered to me with documents like these. The compression aims at the size the portal asks for and can land a bit over, so I check it before uploading. Small thing, but the application went out that evening.

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  273. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  274. I’ve learned many important things as a result of your post. I’d personally also like to convey that there is a situation where you will make application for a loan and don’t need a cosigner such as a U.S. Student Aid Loan. However, if you are getting credit through a standard financial institution then you need to be willing to have a co-signer ready to help you. The lenders will base that decision on a few elements but the greatest will be your credit ratings. There are some loan companies that will likewise look at your work history and determine based on that but in many cases it will depend on your credit score.

  275. It’s a question that hits home — as an immigrant I find myself constantly curating what I carry forward and what I leave behind, and honestly that extends to the family photos I’ve scanned from back home. Most of them are low-res, faded, or shot in terrible light, so before I share them with my kids as part of our story I run them through a photo enhancer to recover a bit of the detail and color; it’s a small way of using the culture instead of letting it decay, even if the harder work of deciding what our heritage actually means is still on us.

  281. The heart of your writing whilst appearing agreeable at first, did not really work very well with me after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you managed to make me a believer unfortunately just for a very short while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your leaps in logic and one might do nicely to help fill in those breaks. If you can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly be fascinated.

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  287. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  288. Thanks for this article. I will also like to state that it can become hard if you find yourself in school and starting out to initiate a long credit standing. There are many pupils who are simply trying to pull through and have an extended or beneficial credit history can often be a difficult factor to have.

  289. This question hits close to home — a lot of us end up shrinking parts of our culture just to fit in at work, when really it’s the thing that gives us an edge. Worth sitting with which parts you’re choosing to carry forward and which ones you’re just absorbing out of habit.

    On a totally different note, I’ve been leaning on this background removal tool lately for quick product shots and headshots, and it saves me so much time on mockups when I just need a clean cutout without opening a full editor.

  290. I hadn’t really thought about the difference between wearing your culture and being pinned by it until this post put it that plainly. What clicked for me was trying it out rather than just reading about it — I messed around with CrazyJev for an afternoon, mostly a 75-second IKEA run and a couple of reaction-time duels, and the interesting part wasn’t winning, it was noticing which habits I kept reaching for under pressure. Same thing with culture, I guess: the parts you choose in the moment are yours, and the ones that move you before you decide are the tricky ones. Curious how other people here sort the two apart — this little Jev game hub just gave me a low-stakes way to watch myself do it.

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  313. Reframing that background took me a while in my own creative work. When you’re trying to establish yourself in a new market, the instinct is often to neutralize your perspective just to blend in, but leaning directly into specific cultural references usually gives your voice much more leverage than playing it safe.

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  386. The line that stuck with me is the difference between carrying your culture and being carried by it. I’ve spent a lot of my first years here doing things a certain way just because that’s how it was done back home, and only lately started asking which parts actually serve me now and which ones I’m just obeying out of habit.

    Fittingly, most of my week went into a residence permit renewal packet, twelve pages of forms and copies that all had to go into one portal with a size limit. I ended up photographing the signed pages on my desk and using LensUp to turn a PDF into a scanned copy online, then nudging the file down toward the size the portal asks for. The compression aims at the number you pick and can land a bit over, so I checked the upload twice. What I liked is that the files never left my laptop — the whole thing runs in the browser tab, which matters when half the packet is your passport page. Small, unglamorous stuff, but it’s the kind of chore that quietly decides whether your paperwork moves or sits there.

  388. The idea of being used by your culture rather than using it is one I keep circling back to. I notice it most in small habits — saying yes to things because refusing would look wrong at home, long after the reason has faded. Harder to spot than the big clashes people talk about.

    Last week I had to turn a PDF into a scanned copy online for a residency form, because the portal wouldn’t take the original file. I did it in my browser tab with LensUp — files never left the laptop, processing stayed local — and the compression aims at the size you pick but can land a bit over, so I ran it twice. Not much of a story. But it saved me a trip to a copy shop and let me get back to the real question: which parts of home I’m carrying on purpose, and which ones I’m just repeating out of habit.

  389. The bit that stuck with me is how quickly culture turns into a liability at the counter. My two surnames confused a residence permit clerk for a good twenty minutes. The culture wasn’t the problem — the form had one box for it.

    That form ate my Tuesday, actually. The portal wanted a single PDF under a set size, and all I had was a pile of photos and an old bank letter. I used LensUp to turn a PDF into a scanned copy online, then squeezed it down until the upload stopped complaining. It aims at the size you choose, so it can land a bit over — budget a second try. Files stayed on my laptop the whole time, which mattered since my passport page was in there.

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  433. Thanks for the write-up. I have usually noticed that almost all people are wanting to lose weight simply because they wish to show up slim along with attractive. Even so, they do not generally realize that there are additional benefits for losing weight also. Doctors assert that overweight people are afflicted with a variety of disorders that can be directly attributed to the excess weight. The great news is that people who are overweight and also suffering from various diseases can help to eliminate the severity of the illnesses by losing weight. You’ll be able to see a steady but marked improvement in health as soon as even a bit of a amount of weight-loss is accomplished.

  434. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  435. Thanks for the advice on credit repair on this particular blog. Some tips i would tell people will be to give up the particular mentality that they’ll buy at this point and pay later. Like a society all of us tend to make this happen for many issues. This includes trips, furniture, plus items we would like. However, you must separate your wants from the needs. As long as you’re working to boost your credit score actually you need some trade-offs. For example you possibly can shop online to economize or you can check out second hand retailers instead of high-priced department stores with regard to clothing.

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